Loving Baby J

In my last blog post, I made this statement concerning Wes's "exuberant" loving (i.e., grabbing and biting other children): "I realize that this is toddler behavior and that he will outgrow it, but because I already have a fear of his not being accepted by other children, this was difficult to witness."  The post was written on the day that I had taken Wes to his music class and witnessed him not only making some other children cry with his forceful hugging, but I had also witnessed the looks in some of those little kids' eyes.  It was a little bit devastating.  So when I made the statement that I realized it was just toddler behavior, blah, blah, blah, that was my head talking, not my heart.  My heart was screaming, "Please, other children and your parents, understand that he is a toddler and he just really loves you, and please don't avoid him and run away in terror because he bit your ear." So it was with delight and complete relief th

I cried twice today.  I've written lots about what an amazing, beautiful child Wes is.  I haven't written about some of the frustrations associated with Down syndrome.  That's the first reason I cried.  Let me back up. I've been taking care of Wes while his parents had to be away.  It is exhausting to care for a toddler at my age, but it is also my greatest joy.  So one of my tasks was to take Wes to his toddler music class.  The thought of this was already causing me some anxiety.  Wes hasn't had a lot of experience with other children except through these classes and trips to the library and park.  He doesn't have siblings yet.  And he tends to love very "exuberantly," a trait that is not always appreciated when it causes another child to cry. During a 45-minute class made up of about 12 toddlers, believe me when I say, there were ample opportunities for loving exuberantly.  In plain talk...Wes made three children cry today.  It's obvious from t

"What's it like to have a grandchild with Down syndrome?"  "Will he be able to go to 'regular' school?"  "Will he ever talk?"  "Does he know who you are?"  And the first comment many people say when they first hear of Wes's diagnosis: "Oh.  I"m sorry." These are all perfectly legitimate questions and comments that I've heard over the past two years.  I take all of them as a way that people show they are interested and caring.  But I'd like to clarify and explain some things about our little guy. First and foremost, the diagnosis of Down syndrome is not a curse or something to be sorry about.  Honest.  Wes has developmental delays - not developmental lack of abilities.  There is a big difference.  And just so you know...he is very, very smart.  We were just there over the holidays and his communication skills blew me away.  No, he's not talking audibly yet at two years four months.  But he is commu

This is going to be a long post, so fair warning. In the past 24 hours two seemingly unrelated events came together for me to experience a “big enlightenment.” In fact, it was so big I had to share. It began in a meeting for a college organization that I have facilitated for the past two years - a wonderful group of master teachers who share strategies for engaging students in the learning process. We watched a TEDx talk by professor John Boyer from Virginia Tech. (If you can find 14.49 minutes in your busy day I strongly recommend you watch.) His delivery style made me uncomfortable. His words inspired me. The second event happened last night. My daughter shared some more pictures of Wes. I’m sharing one of those here. This set of pictures affected me like none before. And that’s when I had the big enlightenment. Bear with me please. John Boyer speaks of inspiration and how we have lost that ingredient of education through the constant focus on standardization of learning objectives

My last blog post was on August 26th.  In the early hours of August 29th (3:30 am to be exact), we got "the call!"  By 6:00, we had purchased plane tickets and were out the door.  I vacillated between wanting to scream excitably in public, to crying, to hand wringing.  And the layover in Atlanta almost caused a necessity for institutionalization on my part.  But...we made it, and we made it in time!  We actual followed my daughter and son-in-law to Prentice Women's Hospital from their Oak Park residence.  Other than my husband coming within inches of rear-ending my son-in-law's car on the way, the trip was uneventful.  We could see Jaime clutching the upper door handle when she was having contractions, so we felt like we were a part of everything.  We were even allowed to visit her in the labor/delivery room, and during one such visit at about 10:00 pm, the doctor said, "You can push."  Oops!  We were still in there, so guess what?  We got to see the birth o

We have one week to go till our Baby J is due to be born!  I am excited.  I am scared.  And then I am excited again.  As we near this date, I continue to read and connect with other people who share similar experiences.  This morning I read an incredibly moving blog.  Those words prompted these words: We have a grandson. He has Down syndrome. He is not Down syndrome. He is our grandson.