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I Cried

I cried twice today.  I've written lots about what an amazing, beautiful child Wes is.  I haven't written about some of the frustrations associated with Down syndrome.  That's the first reason I cried.  Let me back up.
I've been taking care of Wes while his parents had to be away.  It is exhausting to care for a toddler at my age, but it is also my greatest joy.  So one of my tasks was to take Wes to his toddler music class.  The thought of this was already causing me some anxiety.  Wes hasn't had a lot of experience with other children except through these classes and trips to the library and park.  He doesn't have siblings yet.  And he tends to love very "exuberantly," a trait that is not always appreciated when it causes another child to cry. During a 45-minute class made up of about 12 toddlers, believe me when I say, there were ample opportunities for loving exuberantly.  In plain talk...Wes made three children cry today.  It's obvious from the look on his face right before he grabs faces, hair, and arms that he's excited and wanting to "hug."  But he just doesn't quite get the "gentle hug" concept yet.  I'm fast, but I wasn't quite fast enough on three occasions today.  (I'm not discussing how many other times I actually was fast enough.)  Mostly the parents are understanding, but not always.  I get that.  The part that made me cry when we got home was the look on the other little kids' faces when they saw Wes coming...not terror exactly, but definitely a desire to avoid.  It kind of broke my heart.  Now, I realize that this is toddler behavior and that he will outgrow it, but because I already have a fear of his not being accepted by other children, this was difficult to witness.  My daughter handles it better than I.  Oh, and I seem to have forgotten to mention that sometimes in the exuberant hugging, there is also exuberant "kissing" which can involve teeth.  Oh, my!
With all that said, the second thing that made me cry also happened in music class.  And for this, I can proudly state, I did NOT wait till we got home.  So embarrassing.  These were tears of joy and pure happiness however.  One of the activities that Wes's amazing music teacher does with the kids is called "microphone."  It's a simple concept:  she holds a little stick (not really a microphone) and taps it three times.  She even says, "Tap, tap, tap."  That is the signal to the children to come up one at a time where she then gives them a three-note combination ("bum, bum, bum") that they are to echo in the microphone.  Here's what happens.  One child goes forward, Miss Anna sings, "bum, bum, bum," and the child turns and runs back to his mama.  Very sweet.  I was sitting with Wes on my lap, and I could feel his little body start to move forward and then lean back into me.  He did this several times until, all of a sudden, he stands up, walks straight to Miss Anna and the "microphone" and waits for her to sing her three-note combo.  (Just for your information, no children or animals were exuberantly loved on the way forward.)  And then...the magic!  Wes leaned into the microphone and mouthed three notes.  There was no verbalization (he's not talking yet), but it was perfect!  His little body leaning forward so his mouth was at the microphone, his eyes looking at Miss Anna, and that sweet little mouth opening and closing three times.  (Well, darn.  I'm crying again.)  He then proceeded to turn around, job done, and walk straight back to me.  I'm crying and the entire room of adults and toddlers started clapping.
And that my friends, is Down syndrome - frustrating at times, scary at times, but oh so awe-inspiring and magnificent.  Yes, Wes has Down sydnrome.  But first and foremost, he is just a little boy at that "terrible twos" stage, courageously learning and participating in his world. 


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